I was DYING to tell you that Ben's new car was a DECOY CAR to totally throw Harry off the scent of his AWESOME CHRISTMAS PRESENT because we both panicked that we spent way too long at the dealer the other day buying Harry's, and we decided the only way to cover our tracks was TO BUY ANOTHER CAR.
I have been driving a minivan since MAY of 2011. Not THE SAME minivan, fortunately. There was a black Sienna. A red Sienna. A gray Sienna. And a blue Honda. I LOVED the minivan at first— I was so jazzed about arm rests and cup holders and Bluetooth (lolz) and a USB port. The sliding doors have been dreamy for 13 years, and the amount of ROOM for both people and stuff is unbeatable.
But! On Friday! I LEFT MY MINIVAN ERA BEHIND.
It’s a Honda Pilot, and I love it!! I wanted to get it in white, but the exact one I wanted was only available in red, black, or blue, and we are currently a BLUE CAR FAM, so my hands were tied.
Also! The bow makes me laugh because I bought this car by myself for myself.
But, I mean, WI is a marital property state, so it’s not exactly a feminist statement.
(I also did not take another dress pic, so that’s my day 4 teaching lewk as well)
A couple of funny things:
1. If you are a woman at a car place with 2 little girls looking at cars, you will get help FAST. I looked at different trim packages with Dorothy and Minnie climbing in and out of SUVs, and it was so easy breezy. I made a call on features and had the process started in less than 40 minutes.
2. I then COMPLETELY CHANGED MY MIND about which one I wanted and left my poor sales guy a voicemail at the crack of dawn swapping cars real fast.
3. As part of the process, I needed to give the guy my current car registration, ONLY I DID NOT HAVE ONE because WE HAVE NOT RENWED SINCE 2022. Erm. Also, it is not super intuitive to renew your plates online in WI, but I DID IT.
4. The actual signing and driving part was also SO FAST. I looked at cars on Tuesday. Called to change my mind about which car on Wednesday, and went in to turn in my van and drive my shiny new one off the lot on Thursday afternoon. Harry took Minnie to her swim lesson, and I met everyone at the pool. THAT WAS IT. The price I was quoted was the literal price, no last-minute surprises. It was a dream.
The kids think the tailgate is super fun because you can open with a kick motion (pretty sure the van did this too, but whatevs).
Minnie lurves new car smell
Coop likes the moonroof and also the intercom which is ridiculous and lets him make announcements to people in the back. And he always says THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
I really like the option to take out the second row middle seat! It is currently living in my workout dungeon so I can use the stow space in the trunk for other things because I miss my minivan storage capacity already. I also am having fun playing with where everyone should go. I moved Minnie to the way back for our trip to dance nats.
We are back to NO EATING IN THE CAR after waving goodbye to the minivan of Goldfish crumbs and sand, but, still, I wanted to take the kids out for bedtime ice cream after Minnie went down and Ben got home.
And then, I pulled my 5-hour-old car out of the garage AND SCRATCHED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF IT.
Sorry for the f-bomb but it is the only way to describe the sheer FUCKERY of FUCKING UP your BRAND FUCKING NEW CAR.
Ben tossed the kids in his car and drove the ice cream party to Menards on the way home for all manner of rubbing compound.
AND HE FUCKING FIXED IT, you guys.
In suit pants and slides!
Oh shit, though! Did I mention that the car has side cams and sensors? **face palm**
BTW, I have no evidence of existing as a person on Friday except a couple of selfies, so my teaching outfit 5/27 is… underphotographed. Best one I got:
