47!

 This FB summary really hits the spot on 47, you guys:

Cake prep:

NEW HAIR!!!

Bday morning

Lunch/shopping date with Minnie. We used a Kendra Scott gift card to build stuff at the color bar, and we booked a bracelt making session for us plus Dorothy in Saturday at Little Words Project.

The cake did NOT disappoint

5 on a Friday: Random things I bought this week

 1. Sleep aids**: 1 mg melatonin in case I want to take more than 3mg and less than 6mg. (5. I want to take 5mg). Vitamin B6. Magnesium powder. TJ's sleepy time tea. Acupuncture.

2. Tarte custom makeup kits (one for me and one for Dorothy-- this Tarte sale is REALLY GOOD, and you guys should buy one, too).

3. Clear purse for Dorothy to take to a MLB baseball game.

4. Bra extenders! Turns out, I didn't need a big weird Shapemint bra. I just needed an extra hook's worth of room for my rolls.

5. Ice cream tacos for Dorothy and a bestie

**I had 2 good nights sleeping on the couch (that's where I fell asleep, and no one disturbed me). I think the acupuncturist (I go later today) wil want me to come weekly for 4 weeks and then I can space the appointments back out.

Yay for sleep!

I CANNOT SLEEP

 I am writing this outside the dance studio while Minnie plays with the big kids and Dorothy has tap class. The weather is perfect-- mid 70's and sunny-- and I have the ideal amount of time to grade some of the 38 remaining research papers in my queue. EXCEPT. I forgot my freaking phone, so I can't authenticate and log into my freaking Canvas. And! I would have my shit together and REMEMBER my PHONE, except! I am suffering from insomnia the likes of which I have not known since Harry was a baby. Or maybe Jack-- there was like a 9-month period when I slept in a recliner because it was the only way I could fall asleep, like if I kind of pretended that I wasn't actually trying to.

(I just searched my archives for insomnia to find the post I linked above, and I have been writing about it on and off for YEARS AND YEARS-- this makes me feel much better since I generally think of myself as a very good sleeper. Thank goodness I have this blog because my memory is not super reliable, apparently. Also there are SEVERAL posts where I complain about postpartum hormones and sleeplessness and also the mini pill and insomnia, so maybe some HRT will do the trick-- cross your fingers that I have a good experience next week at the OB)

I made a list of things I can do tonight besides lay in bed freaking out about how I am never going to be able to sleep again (that is really actually not helpful at all WHO KNEW), and it's pretty solid. The other night, I was awake until nearly 4 am (and then got a spam PHONE CALL WHAT THE WHAT at 5:20 and was up for the day and was too worried about never being able to sleep again to even be able to TAKE A NAP-- like, I just laid on the couch all clenched and worried until my phone alarm went off). I tried Jack's melatonin, but I took it after I was already in bed PANICKING, and I think it will work better BEFORE bed. I also ordered this magnesium powder my brother recommended.

I actually have a gabapentin prescription (for anxiety), but I have never taken it. The internet tells me I can use it as a sleeping pill but also that the side effects generally suck. I see my PCP the week after next and will for sure talk about a sleep aid (that hopefully doesn't cause memory loss and weight gain-- things that will FOR SURE make me anxious).

Bonus-- I read this book the other night between 11 and 4 am, and it was... a nice distraction.

Speaking of nice distractions-- I took a break from research paper grading for the zoo with my favorite sidekick

We had a picnic

She's closing in on that gibbon

Merry go round!

train!

bucky!

not thrilled with my zoo fit. I saw one mom in baggy green linen shorts and a drapey white button down half tucked with an adorable yellow cross body purse who looks super super cute, but no one else looked good, either.

Ok, INSOMNIA: what do you do about it?

(this was supposed to be a May goals post, but I have no goals beyond stop freaking out about sleep).

Monday updates

 Cooper! Went to regionals for USA Diving last weekend on the Purdue campus. To qualify for zones at the end of June he needed to place in the top 15 in his events. He took THIRD in both 1-meter and 3-meter, so check and check! Because of the way the age groups work, he is a 13 year-old seventh grader competing against high schoolers in the 14-15 age group, so his finishes were awesome. He also LOVED Purdue's campus and has a new school on his wish list. 

Next up: AAU Red-White-Blue nationals in North Carolina at the end of this month and then USA Diving zones (where he will also compete in tower) in Cleveland in June. If he places in the top 10 at his zone, he will qualify to USA Diving nationals in Mission Viejo, CA in July. (And we also have a trip to Charleston for dance nats in June-- phew!).

We are trying to decide who will travel to what-- we want to do some stuff all together, especially since we are apart during the week, but we're not sure.

Fun stuff to do in Cleveland? Recs for Huntersville, NC? 

5 on a Friday: Things

 1. I am teaching a class in the fall that I have not taught in 3 years, and I was working on the online parts of the class yesterday (it is a hybrid class, so the students get a lot of content online and then we meet once a week for fun stuff). ANYWAY. I spent ALL DAY working on the content, updating some videos, making sure the whole thing meets federal accessibility standards, (kind of a pain with PDFs, honestly) etc etc etc. AND THEN. AT THE EVERY END OF THE DAY, I realized I usually teach the course on a Monday/Wednesday schedule, but this fall? TUESDAY/THURSDAY. OMGGGGGGGGG. My brother said I should just use Copilot to find and replace every Monday and Wednesday in all of my lectures and videos with a robot voice dub saying Tuesday and Thursday over it. 

Also! The discussion prompt for the first week is to show a picture of your pet if you have one to introduce yourself (and find a pic of your dream pet if you are currently petless). And this? Was my pet pic 3 years ago **sob**

(this is my new pic)

2. I am also teaching my favorite large lecture course-- this is my first time ever teaching more than 1 class a semester. (I have the world's best job-- I've had a 1:1 load all these years because most of my job is directing a big course). Part of the new contract with my existing department is an increase in my teaching load, and honestly? I am happy to be teaching more, especially as Minnie goes to kindergarten and I have more time on my hands. I prepped that one without a hitch, but most of the magic (lol) happens in the live lecture, so there's less to put on Canvas before the semester begins.

3. The fall! When all of the kids will be at school all day! Or at least until 2:30pm. Minnie is slated to go to a school with 7:30-2:30 hours-- a total waste since Cooper and Dorothy go 9-4:30. But still! That's so much tiiiiime. I teach at 9:55 on Mondays and will stay on campus all day, since my staff meeting is on Mondays, and Cooper will probably have diving practice. Tuesdays, I teach at 9:30. And then the rest of my time is pretty flexible since both of my classes are hybrids. In the fall, I need to jump into all of my TA's courses and watch them teach-- as you might imagine, this is incredibly time consuming. It has also been really hard with only preschool childcare hours. So having a full school day EVERY SINGLE DAY? REGARDLESS OF BEN'S WORK SCHEDULE?  LIFE CHANGER. Keeping marathon Mondays, though, since they've been a tradition since I was in grad school.

4. Minnie! Is going to kindergarten! I have applied to open enroll in a couple of neighboring districts, and we have applied for an internal transfer within our district, so we are not completely sure where she's going yet. But she's going! To kindergarten! My little shadow--I can't even believe it.

5. I am going to spend this whole month savoring my last ever afternoons with a preschooler underfoot. Cheers to the end of the most delightful era. 

April: What I Read

I read 22 books this month, 18 of them from 2025, and 2 of them from THIS VERY MONTH, and I bought ZERO BOOKS. My library game is SO STRONG (that I haven't cracked my Kindle since February **whomp whomp**)

The House of  my Mother by Shari Franke: Shame on me for reading this. **2025

Crush by Ada Calhoun: This book is buzzy, but I did not love it. **2025

Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall: Another solid shrug from me, but I am in the minority because I think everyone else loves this one. **2025

Universality by Natasha Brown: I liked but did not love this slim little zinger of a book. **2025

The Switch by Beth O'Leary: THIS ONE IS REALLY ADORABLE. I know everyone was talking in someone's comments about how some of her books are bad, but this one is super cute. **Audio 

The Crash by Freida McFadden: I think we have been over how much I adore these awful books. This was my first time reading one of her books as opposed to listening, and the experience was equally enjoyable **2025

Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer by Dylan Mulvaney: The stated goal of this book is to bring more trans stories to the mainstream, and she does it! **2025

 We Could Be Rats by Emily R. Austin: Honestly, you guys, I feel bad that I don;t like her books very much. **2025

The Weekend Retreat by Tara Laskowski: A really enjoyable thriller with terrible people doing bad things to each other. **Audio

The Love We Found by Jill Santopolo: I loved The Light We Lost, so of course, I liked the sequel. **2025

Playworld by Adam Ross: I liked this book, but it also reminded me why I usually do not read dudes. **2025

You Are Fatally Invited by Ande Pilego: Liked this Clue-inspired thriller a lot. I didn't really care about any of the characters, though, and I wish I did. **2025

The Adults by Alison Espach: LOVED this one. I love this author, I guess. The main character is a MESS, and I was nervous the whole time-- this is a vibe I really like. **Audio

Table for Two by Amor Towles: Look at me loving 2 short story collections this year! This one is wonderful, BTW. **Audio

Dream Count by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: So, okay, you guys. Adichie has come under fire for being a TERF. She denies the claim but also has said some things about women qua women that sound pretty essentialist. And! This book is really good with compelling characters and POVs that change in all of the ways you want them to-- and this is SO HARD, to write with several compelling and unique voices. I really really enjoyed it. BUT ALSO she defines her characters in a whole bunch of ways by their experiences as women in women's bodies-- the blood, the pain, the power inequality-- all of the things are "essentially" women's experiences, so it's hard to unsee the TERF allegations even as her own explanations put a more nuanced point on her initial remarks. She clearly sees gender as grounded in sex, so it makes sense that she would see nuance between cis and trans women-- and is recognizing this difference always hostile? Is noting that women who have been raised as women from birth and women who arrived at womanhood differently might have different lived experiences exclusionary on its face? I am unsure. **2025

Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy: This book reminded me so much of Jane Harper and not just because of the Australian accents-- it was the way the physical setting was also a character. This book is SAD, so beware. ** Audio **2025 

A Forty Year Kiss by Nickolas Butler: This is a WI author who is more than "just" a WI author, and I really like his stuff. **2025

Everything Is Tuberculosis by John Green: This is terrific. And now I know so many random factoids. **2025 **Audio

Say You'll Remember Me by Abby Jimenez: Loved this. Maybe my favorite one by this extremely readable writer. **Audio **2025

Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry: This was not my very favorite book of hers, but I really loved it. **2025 **Audio

Good Dirt by Charmaine Wilkerson: LOVED loved loved this one! You gotta read it! **2025 **Audio

Woodworking by Emily St. James: OH THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD. I literally cannot imagine reading a better book this year, so maybe I should just stop now?  You should definitely read this-- the author writes for Yellow Jackets, and the HS girls in this story are wonderful. I loved it so, so much. **2025

BTM: 22

Book books: 13

Kindle Books: ZERO **shame shame shame

Audio books: 9

2025 books: 18

BTY 66

Book books: 37

Kindle books: 2

Audio books: 27

2025 books: 32

Whiny Wednesday

 As soon as I said I was tracking spending again, my Augustinus Bader auto-renew renewed. LOL LOL LOL SOB.

And then! Annabel ate a hole in a pair of Dorothy's Lulu studio pants. I sewed the hole, but then I thought I would also iron on a patch on the inside just in case since she wears those pants to hiphop class and also school (and calls them SWEATS). BUT IT TURNS OUT YOU CANNOT IRON THAT FABRIC. So, I fixed the dog hole and burned this GIANT HOLE instead, Anyway. New pants.

SO FAR MY SPENDING FREEZE HAS BEEN VERY SPENDY.

I also clearly had to buy a couple more tank tops and tennis skirts for Minnie, OBVIOUSLY.

I can sit on her bed and read while she is playing, and this is basically PLAYING WITH HER, right?

She asked for a pic in a ballet pose:

Has anyone tried Shapemint? I am sick of having side and back fat in my t-shirts, so I ordered a bra to try. I think it's ok? The whole site seemed super spammy to me, so I joined the club for free shipping and then immediately cancelled. I sized up, so it's not very compressive, and it is very NOT sexy. But! No back fat, so yay?

THIS WEATHER. I could walk the dog 100 times a day.

The girls and I went to see Dorothy's dance bestie's spring recital (she moved studios after placements this year), and we had a blast. Peep Minnie at the photo wall:

Then we came home, and Minnie was INSPIRED. She raided Dorothy's old costumes and danced like the whole internet wasn't watching.