More perfect fall perfection

At first, when we changed our Sunday afternoon plans from ice skating to hiking in the arboretum, the kids were maaaaaaaaaaad.  Dorothy cried, "A hike is just a WALK."  And, of course, she's not wrong.

 But they came around because that's how gorgeous everything was.

 Dorothy's leaf bouquet:

 (she also loves a good walking stick)

 Sometimes just a walk is actually perfect.

 This would totally be my new profile picture I I had plans to ever replace the pic of my dad and me in our bunny ears on Easter, which I don't.

 Wore his school shoes inadvisedly but did heed constant advice to avoid the mud:

I just peeked at the Halloween weather forecast, and it's supposed to hover juuuuuust above freezing on the big day, which is a bummer for a couple of reasons: neither Dorothy nor Jack will have any hope of being warm in their costumes and also I don't eat candy anymore, but I was going to lift that ban for ONE DAY OLY, so I need them to get a big haul.  I will forever be a fat little kid at heart.

I always have time to make cinnamon rolls.

I always have time to make cinnamon rolls.

I mean this literally, of course, but I also think it's a good metaphor.  I can make something instead of buy it if I want to. I can savor a sweet treat if I think it's worth it. I do have time for the things I want to do if I prioritize.

I agree with Dorothy's face.  These cinnamon rolls were uh-mazing.  I used this recipe, cream cheese frosting and all.

I have the tendency to act like I am a victim of everyone else's schedule.  And sometimes, I really do feel that way, believe me.  But it is also true that I have a ton of flexibility and autonomy when it comes to blocking out my days.  Even though I can't go to work until the kids leave and I need to be home for them most days, there's a lot of time each day that is screaming for me to fill it with work and writing and wonderful lunches with friends.  And I do have time for all of those things.

A couple of years ago, I read Brigid Schulte's Overwhelmed, which I completely recommend.  It is a fascinating look at time and how we spend it.  SO much of that book resonated with me, and I felt carving out a livable life was totally impossible because of the structural barriers to happiness.  Then, as you know, I fell in love with Gretchen Rubin whose very bootstrappy approach to happiness convinced me that I could use the master's tools to tear down the master's house anyway.  And I sort of could, if I ignored the fact that the whole game is rigged against me because patriarchy.  Or, as bell hooks reminds us, white supremacist capitalist patriarchy, if you want to put a finer point on it.

So, what do I do to fight the overwhelm and fill my day with the things I love?

• Well, part of it is a reframe like I wrote about in this sappy Madison Mom post: https://madisonmom.com/loveslaborfound/
• 
  
• Another thing that helps me is to have a packed lunch calendar.  I have 5 friends whom, I see monthly, and I try to schedule a couple of one-off lunches every month as well. This amounts to more than a lunch a week, and I love it.
• 
  
• I schedule time to read.  I know this sounds silly, but the Goodreads annual challenge has really helped me prioritize reading, which is a huge happiness booster for me.
• 
  
• I try to have one day a week where I can work from home and have no housework to get in the way.  It is easier for me to squish the housework into my already crazy commute days, and then I get one day to live in my pajamas until moments before the kids come home.
• 
  
• Instead of the thankless chore of grocery shopping, Jack and I have a day date to buy food every Saturday.  He loves to shop and is super helpful, and I cross two things off my list: getting actual groceries (duh) and spending time with my favorite 6th grader.
• 
  
• PODCASTS.  I listen when I am tidying the house before I go to work, on my way to work, and as I scramble to my class in the morning.  Two new ones I am hooked on are Dolly Parton's America and Office Ladies.

What do you do to make sure you have fun in the middle of the weekday rush?

Perfect fall weekend of perfect fallness

It was like Saturday was begging us to go to a pumpkin patch.  65 degrees. Sunny.  Slight breeze,  Leaves that were just showing off with their bright colors.  

We started with a picnic because we had a billion kid-tivities in the morning and it would take forever to eat and clean up at home but Ben and I have sworn off eating garbage, making most kid-friendly restaurants unappealing.

Also, everyone is on a mega-peanut butter kick these days, and I really can't complain.

 At the pumpkin patch, Dorothy fell in love with this horse:

 And then the whole family got eaten in a scary maze.

 J/K.  There were donuts at the end of it, though.

 These little tractors were for kids.  No matter.

 Zoom in on Cooper's face here:

 So picturesque!

 I am in love with her streaming pigtails.

 Not to be outdone,  Cooper loves goats.

 Oh yeah-- and we got pumpkins.

 By the time I remembered portrait mode, everyone was totally over it.

Bullet points from the week

• We finally played bar trivia last night for the first time in forever, and it was as fun as I remember.  I freaking love bar trivia. Also, we got last place (well, second-to-last, but actual last left at halftime), so we will have to keep playing. GROWTH MINDSET.
• I am not sure I am going to actually make my reading goal this year because I cannot even make myself read at all these days. I am limping through October.
• It's been almost a year since I got a haircut, so I am that lady.
• My bad eating habits are creeping back, especially with sweets, especially especially with sweets that I make. I have yet to eat anything snacky out of the pantry, but for some reason, chocolate chips straight out of the bag and any homemade baked good are OK in my head.  I have made 3 batches of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, frosted oatmeal cookie bars, brownies, pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, banana pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, regular chocolate chip cookies, and cut-out sugar cookies.  IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS.
• In other news, I am planning another round of Whole30 for January.
• Speaking of! I am a little bit in love with Melissa Urban's podcast Do the Thing.  It's really motivating, and I don't think I have gotten to the food freedom stage of Whole30 where I can effortlessly eat what I want to feel and look how I want, but I think I could get there with a few more rounds. 
• I had the most social day ever yesterday, and I may need to withdraw from people-ing for awhile to recover hashtag introvert.  I had lunch with a friend (excellent food, wonderful conversation), then I met up with 2 book club friends at the library while our kids went to Pokemon club.  Then we played trivia!  I am totally proud of myself for ditching FOMO and filling up my social calendar.  Also, give me a weekend of PJ's and movies on the couch, please.

Our week so far in pictures:

Jack and me at a meeting-- also, he turned ELEVEN AND A HALF yesterday.

 Spooky tights from the Target dollar spot.  Spooky pose model's own.

 Ben and I had a lunch date, and we both came from work.  He wore normal grown up work clothes.

 I wore jeans and sneakers.

 Yay lunch date!

 Seaweed salad

 Forbidden fig sushi roll (fall sushi!  the best ever!)

 Spicy crunchy salmon, an old favorite standby:

 YOU GUYS.  I WON THIS ON INSTAGRAM. I am so exited!

 Such a pretty girl:

 Yes, yes she did wear a Pikachu costume to school like it was clothes.  Because POKEMON CLUB.

Fall family photos!

It's fall family picture season DAMNIT.

This year to challenge myself, Ben and I decided to buy exactly nothing new for ourselves, and we let all of the kids pick out whatever the hell they wanted with no consideration for theme or matching.  RISK TAKERS, right?

We booked with an awesome local photographer, met her in a gorgeous location, and enjoyed the most efficient photo shoot in recent memory.

And the pics!  Look at them!

So, since I am all about CHECKING ALL OF THE THINGS OFF MY LIST, I decided that since I had these amazing family photos, I would see if there were any great card deals right now, and I found one.

I made a holiday card right away-- like, spent the 90 minutes that I usually do work before the kids get up making cards-- and then hemmed and hawed about ordering them because the site wasn't offering free shipping in conjunction with any other deals, which totally rubbed me the wrong way.  Amazon Prime has made me hate to pay for shipping in all contexts.

  I spent my drive to work complaining to THREE customer service agents about the free shipping bait and switch, but when I got to my office, I ordered the cards anyway.

Not only did Ben make fun of me for ordering them so early, he also was like I bet they jacked up their prices and then did a fake discount to get all the sucklers like you-- he is so sweet to me.  And then he said casually, I hope you don't have any typos.

I didn't think much of this conversation until10:30 at night in shower when I was like OH MY GOD I DIDN'T PUT JACK'S NAME ON THE CARD.  I leapt out of the shower and ran to check my digital proof, and sure enough, I signed everyone's name-- EVEN THE DOG'S-- but not Jack's.

I called customer service, who first told me that my order was already in process and then took pity on me and issued credit on my account so I could order them again for free.  The only rub? I HAD TO PAY SHIPPING.  AGAIN.

Gah.