This morning started with glitter and ended with screaming

It's my fault because I made real coffee this morning and then forgot it was real and not decaf and kept slugging it back because it was making me feel SO GOOD.  Only I got to a point where I just felt baaaaaad.  My shoulders were all up around my neck, but I didn't even notice, I just thought omfgeverybodyosanassholestopchewinginmyear.

Harry and Jack had a perfectly reasonable request that I finally my god finally help them redeem their  Chrismukkah and birthday (ha ha ha ha) iTunes gift cards, so I put them on their accounts (while getting stopped 65 times for other things from other children-- why can't any of them just let me complete a single task ever?), and it was easy enough.  Then Harry tried to purchase Madden Cash in an app he loves (Madden Mobile, duh), and I got the little Apple Family Sharing purchase approval request.  I should note that these requests are super fucking annoying because if you don't respond to them on your phone's lock screen or stop what you are doing and swipe them right away when they pop up and interrupt your other apps, they are GONE FOREVER and your kids has to request again and probably nags at you about it for awhile. (They really are gone-- I just talked to a lovely Apple help person who explained that to me like I was the dumbest person ever which I think I am).  So, I approved his request but then I noticed that it was set to come off of my credit card, so I unapproved it.  But then the stupid game would not let him request it again because it thought that the request was still out there somewhere and the whole process came to a grinding halt and also there was breakfast and glitter everywhere, and I was in my Wal Mart nightie and it was time for everyone to be at school requiring me to put pants on and the children to dress themselves holy shit.  And also Jack and Harry were PISSY WITH ME Harry because of the Madden cash request limbo and Jack because HIS IPAD WAS NOT CHARGED which was sooooo not my fault.  I made the Bad Decision to stand at the kitchen counter drinking more coffee and googling my problem and just getting generally techno -angsty but not getting dressed or cleaning anything up. But finally!  The big kids left, and I threw on some leggings and wellies and a huge coat (and my Hillary Clinton shirt-- sob) and took the littles to preschool.

 And then Dorothy forgot her shoes (she can just wear her Hunters, no prob) Cooper forgot his wellies (and he'll have to borrow a school pair and thank god I won't be there because he has shoe sensory issues) and Jack forgot his lunch (already took it to him).  GAH.

Meanwhile the whole house is a shit hole and I still have my shoulders up around my neck and all of this happened because I set no alarm and made no morning preparations last night and drank too much coffee.  So it's all alarms and night prep and decaf from here on out.  Also Ben has meetings today, so I can't go to work until 3.  I hope to shower sometime between 1 and 3-- WISH ME LUCK.

And I am waiting on a call from the game app support people because I WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

Yesterday was garbage day, which is a huge darn deal, BTW.

 Ballet Dorothy is one of my top 5 favorite Dorothys

 She and her doll just happened to have matching tutus.

 I swear to god I will write this book this year.

 Recital fashion show-- she was so excited to take her first part of her first costume home!

 I was only home for maybe 36 minutes is a row yesterday.  It was BRUTAL.  After preschool, I ran the kids home to shove food in them as fast and I could and also fold laundry. The we had dance.  After dance, we ran to the library to pick up books on hold for Jack's class project.  The we went home for maybe 25 minutes (put away laundry; wash kitchen floor) until Jack got home, and we took him to his tutor.  We had another 25 minutes at home (wash lunch boxes and repack them) then we had to get Cooper and Harry ready for hockey, pick up Jack, take Cooper and Harry to hockey and wait for Ben to get there from work.  Then I took Jack and Dorothy to dinner and to Barnes and Noble to hunt down another book.  I realized we didn't have enough time to go home so Jack could change for gymnastics and it was like the one day of the whole school year that he didn't wear sweats to school, so we ran (literally) next door to Shopko and bought some and got him to gymnastics with minutes to spare.  There Dorothy and I had our first down time of the day for like 20 minutes before Ben and the other kids arrived so I could take them home and start bedtime while Ben waited for Jack and my friends came over to make protest signs and drink champagne.  OMFG.  I am tired just reading that back.

 Signs!

 Sign mess

 The kids were stoked to find the extra supplies this morning and got right to work because glitter is awesome.

 fierce glitter negotiations

 she now leaves sparkly footprints like the lord intended.

 I still need to clean this up

 Jack made his own breakfast.

Winter, man.

Preschool!  Is not enough time for me to live my damn life!

Ben went back to work this morning, and I was suddenly on my own with all the children and I miss him in a blankie kind of way.  This morning was a whirlwind!

Also, damn you, winter.

 The kids have been super crabby in the tub basically for years.  There were so many nights when I would threaten them with no bedtime story (that's how you know you're winning at parenting) to make the fake crying, screaming, whines stop.  But then!  I made them a (super annoying) playlist, and now the bath is the FUNNEST EVER.

 THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

 Cooper's class is doing these velcro letter lines to sign in every morning, and Dorothy did one, too.  I love her so much, BTW.

 Oh!  THIS BAG has changed my life by making me so much more organized and cutting down on the amount of shopping bags full of kid-crap I have to drag places (NONE!  I DON'T USE ANY OF THEM!)  Here it is all packed up for dance class today.  Luckily, one of Dorothy's recital dances requires the participation of an American Girl doll (hey there, time to examine the level of privilege in your life, huh?  every damn girl in the class has at least one AG doll to dance with, and no mom batted an eye at the request that their THREE YEAR OLD bring one).

Back to reality

When my alarm went off this morning, I was so surprised and dismayed.

I had the foresight to plug my phone in in my bathroom, as opposed to on my nightstand, so I had to get up and go into another room to run off my alarm, and that's probably the only things that saved me from just going back to sleep.  That and it's SO RUDE to set a pre-6 am alarm and then turn it off and ignore it when you share a room with someone.

I just sort of stood in the bathroom for a few minutes blinking and drooling and then I put on an exercise bra conveniently laid out on the bathroom counter (I sleep in my work out clothes), grabbed my headphones (also laid out the night before) and snagged the book I am currently reading on the way downstairs to the elliptical (that I now use barefoot to save time looking for socks and shoes).  I had to go 12 extra minutes to reach my target calorie burn because that's how slow and foggy I was, but the workout actually felt great. I even lifted weights, which is something I HAVE DONE EVERYDAY FOR A MONTH, AND I AM STARTING TO SEE ACTUAL MUSCLE DEFINITION IN MY ARMS. I practically bounced upstairs to turn on the coffee pot (I make the coffee the night before, so all I have to do is mash the button in the morning), start some laundry (and it's not even my day to stay home and do shit like laundry, but I AM A GIVER), and jump in the shower.

It was a far cry from yesterday's lazy morning that featured both homemade buttermilk waffles and French toast with bread I baked myself (everyone likes pancakes, but only half of them like waffles and half of them like FT). 

 But I laid out my clothes, packed my work bag, slapped together the kids' lunches, and made a fabulous salad for lunch last night, so things were pretty easy peasy.

(Spinach, tomato, cucumber, blackberries, 2 oz oven-baked chicken breast marinated in TJ's island soyaki sauce, and a hard boiled eggs.  The tiny container has 2TBS of light pomegranate vinaigrette.  Along with a honey crisp apple and a sparkling water, it's 275 perfect lunch calories.  I also packed an orange and a bag of carrot chips for later, and except for the dressing and the marinade, it is totally Whole30 approved.  I plan to swap out the dressing for vinegar from Vom Fass, and I think it will be smooth sailing.  EXCEPT I really love bagels and wine.  So.)

I went to the mailroom, the ladies room, and the filtered water fountain with one boot and one heel.  Jesus.

Is anyone else SCARED TO DEATH of the new administration?  I am going crazy with anxiety.  Literally, not euphemistically.  It's the idea of nuclear war that scares me the most, but homegrown fascism is pretty scary, too.

I had an epiphany on the elliptical this morning, though.  A fat housewife from Wisconsin can't save humanity right now, so I need to chill the fuck out an control what I can control.  So!  I am back on the Gretchen Rubin train, and I am going to hashtag at least one pic a day #happier2017 on Insta.  I am going to USE my meditation app FINALLY.  I am committed to making one call a day to my reps, and I am going to join my local Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America and see about volunteering at my local Planned Parenthood.  Something else that has been awesome is my very favorite podcast Call Your Girlfriend.  Seriously, listen to Ann and Amina and restore your faith in humanity.  In their most recent episode they talk about how to stay current on current events AND be detached enough to appreciate the whole thing as theater of the absurd.  And they are very clear that it takes an enormous amount of privilege to be able to adopt this stance.

Also, this article on posture has been enormously helpful to me in keeping my NYR to stand up straight.

I also think the eating disorder I am working very hard to cultivate for next month is going to help take my mind off the fact that we are all going to die.  And!  I just requested from the library these books about how eating the foods I love is killing me, so that'll help, too.

I am marching local on Saturday, so you if you have any good sign suggestions, send them my way-- having a sign-making party tomorrow night!!

Such a cozy little weekend.

We had nothing to do (besides, you know 3 hockey games) yesterday, and we had a chance to celebrate baby henry's second birthday (I cannot EVEN believe that he is 2, and he was THE CUTEST LITTLE NEWBORN EVER), so we basically just sat around the house and cooked and baked and it was delicious. 

 Dorothy is a HUGE FAN of chocolate frosting, obvi.

 Oh!  I finally read this, and it's really great.  Not as good as the originals, of course, but excellent fan fic and really fun to read because hanging out with all my old friends who are now MY EXACT AGE was amazing.

 Dorothy and Cooer picked out the block truck and blocks we bought Henry all by themselves last week, and they have been DYING to give it to him.  And when Dorothy suggested that we "decowate" Baby Henry's cupcake with candles. how could I refuse?

 (Not only did we make Pioneer Woman's pot roast, but we used her dutch oven to cook it, and I used my PW pot to cook additional carrots.  I guess you could say I am a fan of the brand.  Also!  I made soda bread in my bread machine, and it was wonderful and made really nice buttermilk French toast for breakfast.  And!  For the first time, I boiled my fingerling potatoes before roasting them, and this is absolutely the RIGHT THING TO DO OMG)

 Happy birthday, Baby Henry!

Oh!  I found a GREAT app.  It's called 1 Second Everyday, and it makes a montage of your year based on video clips.  It also sends really helpful reminders to record video, and it's really, really, really easy to use.  I always want to take more video of the kids, and this is working OK so far (I mean, there are already several days where I forgot to take video and had to choose a picture instead, but I am learning).

Ok, off to clean the house (yay!) and then take the ids to see what looks like the worst movie ever (boo!)

In the midst of a hockey-filled weekend, of course

I took Harry and Jack to see Hidden Figures on Friday after school, and it was WONDERFUL and we all loved it.  On the way home, we had excellent conversations about women's rights and civil rights, and all of us were struck by the short timeline.  The movie was set in 1961, and that WASN'T VERY LONG AGO.  I stopped off to get them a burger after the movie, and we ran into a neighbor and his kid who were between basketball games, and he asked me if the three of us were on a date, and we kind of were. 

But the real date was my favorite kind-- a couch date. Hygge may be a sign of xenophobic populism, but I love it anyway sometimes.

(The boys and I picked up Indian takeout after they had burgers, and they opted to use the time we were waiting for food at the library down the street from the restaurant because Jack had a biography project to research hashtag raising readers.)

Ben's cousin sent the kids the hilarious game that they played on Christmas Eve at Ben's grandma's house, and we were really excited to open it because we knew the kids would LOVE it when they woke up.

Looking at this picture, I realize that my serving of garlic naan (the best food in the world? yes, I think it is) shouldn't be larger than my serving of vegetable vindaloo, but what are you going to do? (Actually, I m going to do the Whole 30 next month.  Pray for me).  (Seriously).

 Couch date AND stretchy pants.  The perfect Friday night.

 Dorothy had been making me braid her hair when it's wet at night, so she can wake up with curls, and I thought she might like REAL CURLS.  The sight of her in her old lady rollers did not disappoint.

 I knew Doggie Doo would bring joy.

When I took the rollers out, she looked a little Barbara Bush-y

 Harry's hockey team got to skate out the flag and play a quick between-periods game at the UW women's hockey game yesterday.  Every year, they do an event called "Fill the Bowl" where they try to set an NCAA attendance record by selling tickets for $1 AND collect a ton of food donations.  Yesterday, there were over 15,900 people there, and Harry's team got to play in front of them-- pretty cool.

We got there super early (Ben's doing), and we spent time taking selfies:

 I cropped myself out of this one and tagged it #Badgers and posted it on Instagram, and it SHOWED UP ON THE JUMBOTRON, which the kids thought was both cool and creepy.  I agree.

 Harry is #13!!  (I have no pics of the flag ceremony because I filmed the whole thing, but it was cool, and the Tron had close-up pics of the kids holding it, and they still have fat little baby hands).

 There they are waiting to go on after the first period

 And then they were PLAYING ON THE BIG ICE like real hockey players!  It was super cool, and Ben and I smiled the whole time.

 Harry's entire strategy is to be the guy who stands in the crease and shoves the puck in the net and sometimes gets punched.

 Seriously.  LIKE REAL HOCKEY PLAYERS.

 So cute!

 We felt like we were on a date because Dorothy started playing with her favorite hockey sib, who was sitting right in front of her; Cooper tuned into his iPad and stopped whining about how he didn't like his ice cream, and Jack tucked into his nachos and watched the game.

 Ben swung Dorothy around while crowd sang Varsity.

 And then we pressed our luck by taking everyone to the golf course bar for pizza.

 Which was actually really fun because we used our screens for good and played Heads Up while we waited for the food and also because the bar was rowdy and screaming drunkenly (really drunkenly for 7:00) at the Patriots game, and our kids were comparatively quiet.

 We were so early that we could take advantage of the face painting before the game.  Dorothy took the whole thing super seriously, as you can see.

And now?  We are off to a hockey double header, a small break, and a hockey game for Cooper.  And also, I need to clean 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room while Ben cleans another bedroom, a toy room, and a family room and wrangles kids.  Day of rest?  What day of rest?